Haunted Finances?

Boo! Are your finances haunting you? Do you have a financial Boogie man? Are they haunting you just as you go to sleep? When you try pull $100 out at the ATM and it says ‘insufficient funds’. When you’re a tiny bit late to pay your rent/mortgage
/cellphone/line of credit/hydro/credit card bill etc? When a 1-800 number shows up that you don’t recognize? Boo! Scary! Ghoulish! Run, hide!

If this sounds at all familiar, you likely have a Financial Boogie man that’s approximately 10 feet behind you- he’s ready to get you, and he has obscenely bad breath. It’s only a matter of time, if you don’t do anything about your situation, he will get you. Who believes in Boogie men anyway? You’ll think. When my prince charming gets here, he will beat him up! You just wait and see! And wait. And wait. Too late! The Boogie man ate him. Mr. Charming tasted good. Kind of short, bad jeans, balding slightly, but goooood. Now what? The Financial Boogie man is now 5 feet behind you. OMG!

You must perform an exorcism to rid yourself of your haunted finances; your Financial Boogie man. To do this- you’ll need a priest. Kidding. They’re busy. Save that for head spinning children and green vomit. But you will need the following ingredients:
1) A computer with Microsoft Excel (don’t worry- you don’t have to be an expert or know anything about Excel!)
2) A glass of wine (don’t argue)
3) Soft music- some jazz maybe?
4) And a stack of all your financial commitments; bills, savings etc
5) Chocolate- one bar (lets not get greedy)
6) A timer- set for two hours. Yes, 2 hours. Use your phone, or the oven timer.
7) A picture of a something you want really bad (big house, cabin, new car, yacht etc)
8) A calendar- electronic or paper

How to perform the exorcism is fairly straight forward- but you must follow it exactly. Unlike the movies (they always lie) a financial exorcism must be performed bi-weekly. It’s never a one-time fix, they just edit that part out. To rid yourself of your Financial Boogie man, you must schedule it in. Just like a hair appointment- same same only different. Neat eh? Just pick a day (Wednesday?) and add it to your calendar TWICE a month. Got it? If you have Outlook put it in with a 1 day reminder. Annoy the hell out of yourself. You’ll want to ignore it. But don’t- the Financial Boogie man won’t go away unless you exorcise him. Second step: pour yourself a glass of wine and break a small piece of chocolate off the bar-o-goodness. Then take a sip. Just one. Now, go find your bills/stubs/receipts. Collect the stack. Put them in front of you. Take another sip, and another bite of chocolate. Good job. Get online and open Microsoft Excel (click ‘start’ and then ‘programs’- its there). Set your timer- for two hours. Get your goal picture out- hold it up. Look at it. See yourself there; in it, using it etc. Take another sip. Another bite. Now, click here , download this Personal Budget Worksheet (free from our friends at Microsoft) and start filling it in. You can do it! Save it to your desktop. Once you’ve filled it in, you’ll have a snapshot of your finances. More wine? More chocolate? Suck it up. This is the hardest part: looking that Financial Boogie man in the face. He may be ugly! Or he may just have a uni-brow i.e easy to fix. Either way, he’s on his way out!In two weeks- repeat.

Eventually, you’ll be calling your credit cards to get a better interest rate. You’ll know how much money is your account at all times. You’ll have an understanding if you can afford those hot fall boots. You’ll see if you can squeeze out some savings. Oh- and you’ll be in a position to learn about investing- lets get that goal! You can join the Wealthy Wilmas as we read financial/investing books - or start figuring it out all by your big shot (small ass) self. But do it. Or else…he’ll get’cha!

Boo-ernadette.